Friday, January 28, 2011

Not Changing

The Name Change issue has been all over this week, eastsidebride, Souris Marriage, A Practical Wedding. We're all thinking about it. It's one of those wedding/marriage issues that doesn't really ever seem to be resolved (some people change their name and then change it back, see APW) and until you have children there is that up in the air as well. I, as I've been kind of loud about, didn't change my name. Couldn't FATHOM changing my name. It was never on the table. I understand why people do. My Oldest and Best Friend didn't think twice about it, it's what she wanted to do. My college roommate (not Mary) changed her name because it was important for her to have a united name with her husband and mostly her daughter. For me, changing my last name seemed as alien as changing my first. Ages ago Meg said something about name changing being so emotional because it's an issue where inequality is still the norm and she's right. And that's really really wrong.

I grew up in a family with two last names, June Momslastname and Terry Dads. I was named Hannah May Momslastname Dads. I like the idea of sharing a name with my mother so I'm been Hannah Momslastname-Dads. My sisters and brother generally just go by Dads. Which is cool. I never minded the two last names. We're still a family, Christmas cards are addressed to The Momslastname-Dads Family. My mom said she never minded not having the same last name as her children. All is well.

Over and over again in the conversation women talk about the desire to have the same name as their children. I understand that desire and share it. I'm not as chill as my mom. I want my kids to have the same name as me too; I want it to be clear to all involved that they're mine and I'm theirs and we are in the same family. No one has discusses the possibility that children be given their mother's name and that their father be the odd one out. Is a man's right to have his children bear his name really that sacred? I feel like it isn't. No more so than my right to share a name with my children. Fortunately for me, David doesn't have the same intense feelings I have about names (for serious, I cried when I got that stupid Christmas card addressed to Hannah and David Davidsname from my sister in law). Dave's sisters have different last names and he feels no less related to them, feels no loss at the change of name. So our children will most likely have my name. Not both of my names, carrying on both grandparent's last name from one side seems a bit intense. But Dad's name. Because that's the one I share with my siblings.

I would love to have a united family name. I would love for David to take to take my name and for us to be clearly delineated as a family in that way but I can't do it at the expense of my name. It's just not on the table. David has considered changing his but decided that it would offend his family and be misconstrued by his friends. Which I understand. So I'm not pushing the issue. He's as entitled to his name as I am to mine. No more so though. And we are equally entitled to name our children after our families. So we'll see. I'll let you know how it goes.

Oh Happy Day

Hello surprise watch! I love you! You make my wrist happy! You are sparkly and look good with my wedding ring! Yum!

Tuesday, January 25, 2011

Cosy House

I saved this in my favourites as "cosyhouse" and it is. I am way overtired and have a really busy Wednesday tomorrow and a busy week ahead and really just want to lie under my duvet and tell everyone to sod off. I feel like in this glorious little house in Walton NY no one has to go to a terrible jobs and there is no babysitting and no doctors appointments. I know that's a lie but I'd like to imagine a place for hiding.

Don't you want this to be your bed? I want it to be my bed.

I Wanna Send You A Card of My FACE!

I'm on a Rifle kick. Deal. I'm pretty sure my number one favourite thing in the universe at the moment is Rifle Paper Co. I'm dreaming of personalized calling cards and note cards. With my face on them. Which I will send to everyone. I am also dreaming of being called "Jackie" and knowing someone called "Mimi". Mary, will you change your name to Mimi? Just thought I'd ask.

Monday, January 24, 2011

Right Now

I wish I could send a Rifle Paper Co valentines day card to every single person I know.

Friday, January 21, 2011

MW Planners

I've documented my unhealthy love of ikat and these are no exception. Because I can't afford this but I believe I can swing one of these. From the lovely store filled with beautiful things, Cursive, located in Grand Central.

This photo is from the Cursive website.

Old Rooms, Worn Furniture

Ever since I got back from Scotland I've been obsessed with Ardtornish and all it's old wallpaper and big chairs and drippy taps and big windows. I live in half of a tiny 1930s bungalow in the American South but the Scottish North really rocks my world.

Ever since I got back from Scotland I've been obsessed with Ardtornish and all it's old wallpaper and big chairs and drippy taps. I live in half of a tiny 1930s bungalow in the American South but the Scottish North really rocks my world.

Thursday, January 20, 2011


I want another bedroom. 2 dogs and 1 cat and 1 David and 1 Me is a lot in this apartment. Another bedroom, a place for a desk and a sewing machine and maybe a place to leave the glue and the ribbon and weird bits and bobs out rather than putting them away. But if we're looking for a new place I probably shouldn't paint.... and I really want to paint. And hang pictures. And curtains. Hmm.

all photos via designsponge

At North Farm


In the May of 2009 I read Isabel Gillies Happens Every Day and was blown away by a section of At North Farm she quoted:

Somwhere someone is traveling furiously toward you.
At incredible speed, traveling day and night,
Through blizzards and desert heat, across torrents, through narrow passes.
But will je know where to find you,
Recognize you when he sees you,
Give you the thing he has for you?

It made my toes tingly. I don't really know what it means but that first line, the line about someone traveling furiously toward you, that really rocked my world. I loved it. I sort of believed it. That someone was traveling furiously toward me. And then in June I met David, then he went to Europe for the summer. And in August we talked on his porch all night long and a week after that we basically new we were going to marry each other (but we didn't talk about it to each other yet) and then in December we were talking about it. And in January we were engaged already and then in July we were married. After 11 months of being together. And now, January of 2011, we live in Durham with our two dogs and a cat. Wow.

And it's working really well.

I don't normally tell people that we knew each other for 11 months before we were married and five months before we got engaged because, ya know, it's nuts. Completely nuts. But ya know.

Wednesday, January 19, 2011

New Photos!

Six months after our wedding, our photographer updated his website and there are some wedding photos I haven't seen. I'm esspecially digging the one of my littlest 14 year old sister drunker than drunk swaying to some awesome tunes while older and wiser adults condone her behavior. Dear Dad, At least she has a water bottle?

The "complete" wedding, to quote Shaun, is here.

This Brightens My Day

I am not only wearing leggings in the office today (yes, I am one of those biddies) but also legwarmers. I know, I am so glamorous. And the temperature at my desk is finally comfortable (why do I normally need to wear multiple cardigans and huddle next to my space heater? UNREASONABLE) but everyone else feels its too hot and building management JUST turned on the vents and I can already feel it getting colder and HEAD, MEET DESK.

I wish it were spring. I would wear this crazy dress with a cardigan (typical), belt, and saddle-colored boots. LOVE.

Tuesday, January 18, 2011

Kilty Cake Topper

I made Tilly and Ben's cake topper of pegs. Very much like mine, this one in a kilt though, this one on a cake of cheese. I took pictures but they are on my sister's friend's camera so the facebook ones will suffice. Want one? I'll make you one!

My Annual Hair Meltdown

So I know I'm about five years late to this boat but should I get bangs? The temptation to shave my head is overwhelming.

January Fair Isle

I managed to finish these baller leg warmers while in the car as my sister drove us to Boston on Saturday. These are a testament to the fact that I actually can finish a project, thankyouverymuch. I've only been working on these, however, since shortly before Christmas so I suppose this is not the most compelling evidence.

My sister laughed hard at me as I was making legwarmers but I wanted to try fair isle and overall, I think they're super pretty. Dorky, yes, but pretty. The pattern is from Manos del Uruguay's Adirondack Accessories book, which I just adore. Please excuse my lousy blackberry camera.

Monday, January 17, 2011

Paper, for walls

Temporary Wallpaper is rocking my world so hard as a concept. I want to do our teeny tiny wee rental dining room in one of these Easy-Change papers from Sherwin Williams. David keeps stepping in to make me calm myself and not make our entire apartment a shrine to the grey so maybe yellow? hmmmm.

January, In Grey

My iPhoto leads me to believe it has been a rather grey January. Lovely. But grey. It's also been six months since we got married. So we're having drinks and yummy bits and chilling out. Good January. Good six months.

A cottage sitting room in Scotland; wallpaper in said sitting room I want; Lochaline village; my wee sister's chinchilla, Jack.

Six Months

We've been married for six months. To celebrate we walked to Whole Foods to get chicken for curry and I've had three pots of tea. Lots of quiet. Looking at the photos everything just looks like sunshine. I did my own flowers, all my own stationary, set my own tables but I'm so glad we shelled out for a photographer. The photos are so evocative in a way nothing else is.

It's been a good six months.

Waltzing Matilda

Ardtornish House in the daylight

The Holospeced congregation, that blond befeathered head in the middle front is me.
So my photos of Tilly and Ben's gorgeous wedding are a bit of a blur fest (low lighting and crap camera be damned). There were holospex that made each point of light a heart and all the guests wore them and sang Love Me Tender, there was a five tier wedding cake made not of cake but of cheese with loads of oak cakes and chutney made by my aunt (okay, the mother of the bride) and the caleigh band got too drunk to come play all except the accordion who did a bang up job all on his own despite his apparent intoxication. We danced and sang and drank and drank and ate loads of cheese and chutney and when the night went on a bit long a few of the bridesmaids changed into our boots and the night ended with us sitting on the couch posing for an Italian photographer named Simone. Glams all round. Gorgeous.

Tilly let me decorate her cake which felt a big reckless, Ben and she cut the cake with a sword of her dad's

The aforementioned dad swirling our cousin's wife around

David and I pretending to be in Brideshead Revisited for the sake of an Italian photog.
I think we were on different pages as to what that means.

Friday, January 14, 2011

New Years are for Singing

I've been singing this and dancing around the dining room since coming back from Scotland. Driving back to Durham this afternoon with two dogs, a cat and a husband. Looking forward to home.


Hi, I resolve to blog more this year!

Family emergency on New Year's Eve placed my sending of New Year's cards, making resolutions, and taking pictures on the back burner. I hope, however, that the holidays were just lovely for you.

Rather than backtrack about the holidays, I shall start fresh.

Wednesday, January 12, 2011

Scottish Wedding

Things have been very quiet here while I was off on the West Coast of Scotland for Tilly's wedding. I decorated a cake, I drank to excess and wore feathers and hugged the bride and groom a lot. I listened to Waltzing Matilda about 90 times (Scottish cousin Matilda marries Australian Ben so WM seemed the thing) and spent loads of time in front of fires in layers of warmth with cousins and second cousins and first cousins once removed. It was glorious. I'm still at my parents until Friday so posting will not resume in full force until then. Photos will follow. In the mean time here are some photos of Ardtornish (taken by my gorgeous second cousin Julia). If anyone is wondering where in the frozen highlands they might like to get married in January Ardtornish is the place.